A Time for Truth - 2

So love is lost. Well, I guess deep down this is what I wanted subconcsiously. All the while, struggling to love a woman who may have loved me. Wondering why it was so hard to get to spend time. Living a convinence of my physical needs being met but starving emotionally.

Life is sometimes cruel and much worse is love that is lost andn love that may have never been in the first place. When I look back I realise that it's the little stuff that wasn't getting done; Spending time, holding hands, hearing the words "I love you" every once in a whie, the reassuring squeeze on the arm. All this meant something to me none of which I got from Beth.

I also figure I'm not without fault. Letting this relationship go on for too long when I struggled hard to see what was in it. I must admit I have no real memories of our time together. Some may call me mean, but it's easy to walk away knowing that you broke all the rules to make shit work. I guess relationships are two way traffic. I could only carry the weight for a time before my back actually broke.

I'm sorry I wasted so much time in something that had no result. I'm sorry I couldn't shape the relationship to something mutually fulfilling. I'm sorry I got into this alone while all the time thinking I had someone I could spend my life with.