Hunger
The move was without doubt a mile stone in my life. It symbolizes a transition from establishing responsibility to realizing it. I feel I was born to play such a role.
Sadly life is not without twisted irony, I sense there's some Joke in this somewhere but I fail to see it. I'm single now after hoping with the recent upgrade I would further cement my relationship with my girlfriend of 1 year and 3 months. Further last night I looked around the house and a deep sadness struck me. I was dissatisfied with everything that I saw. I was disgusted by the fact that I must measure (and In turn measured by others) by the material gains that I have made.
I was disgusted by the sight of all that I'd accumulated over the past couple of months. I wanted to throw everything away. The sight to me was revolting.
It is indeed strange that I take no joy in all that I have done. Infact the more I achieve the more dissatisfied I feel. I figure that this is abnormal.
My expectation was that I'd be happy and over-joyed, but I was only briefly. Now I'm looking at new goals For instance buying a Car and In 5 years or sooner own my own house.
The search for fulfillment is perhaps a longer journey than I envisioned whose path is riddled with continuous challenges brought about by the pressures of a material world where economic prosperity is the only measure through which one can be appreciated and accepted.
Fulfillment seems to me as a state imposed by those around you and enforced by the individual in an effort to make his internal environment match the external.
Why do I exist? what will make me feel satisfied and happy? Why must I feel this HUNGER?
Sadly life is not without twisted irony, I sense there's some Joke in this somewhere but I fail to see it. I'm single now after hoping with the recent upgrade I would further cement my relationship with my girlfriend of 1 year and 3 months. Further last night I looked around the house and a deep sadness struck me. I was dissatisfied with everything that I saw. I was disgusted by the fact that I must measure (and In turn measured by others) by the material gains that I have made.
I was disgusted by the sight of all that I'd accumulated over the past couple of months. I wanted to throw everything away. The sight to me was revolting.
It is indeed strange that I take no joy in all that I have done. Infact the more I achieve the more dissatisfied I feel. I figure that this is abnormal.
My expectation was that I'd be happy and over-joyed, but I was only briefly. Now I'm looking at new goals For instance buying a Car and In 5 years or sooner own my own house.
The search for fulfillment is perhaps a longer journey than I envisioned whose path is riddled with continuous challenges brought about by the pressures of a material world where economic prosperity is the only measure through which one can be appreciated and accepted.
Fulfillment seems to me as a state imposed by those around you and enforced by the individual in an effort to make his internal environment match the external.
Why do I exist? what will make me feel satisfied and happy? Why must I feel this HUNGER?
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