Love, sex and pain
It's not long ago that I wrote about perspective. My fear was losing control of the choices and giving myself to someone who is unappreciative of my sacrifice.
The woman I love and respect wants some time apart in order to decide if she really wants a relationship with me. Her fear to commit herself to me (us.) Her fears are that she has let too many men into her life, who have ended up disappointing her. Sure I understand her concerns...But knowing all this she still ended up getting intimate with me.
I get a sense that she is in crisis, in terms of reconciling her ideal life and her reality. She is also faced with career issues where her profession is not propelling her to the space she wants to be in. I have further observed that she is constantly tormented by the challenge of her best friends,who have settled into happy, stable and financially secure relationships.
As a man in her life I am faced with my own challenges. My career has only just begun to take a turn for the better after being in and out of contractual work. I am not in a position to offer her the life she wants...to take away her fears of uncertainty about her financial future. I wish it was not so but I can only offer what I have. I do not want to sell her a dream because I have to manage her expectations.
I fear based on my financial challenges, I will not be able to keep her. She like others before her will leave me because of what I bring to the table...nothing that supports modern day challenges. It is a sad reality but I must accept my limitations. I will not fight to keep her; I will let her do what she must for her own growth. I on the other hand continue to be frustrated in my quest for a life partner. It is getting to the point where I want to give up and live my life alone....
The woman I love and respect wants some time apart in order to decide if she really wants a relationship with me. Her fear to commit herself to me (us.) Her fears are that she has let too many men into her life, who have ended up disappointing her. Sure I understand her concerns...But knowing all this she still ended up getting intimate with me.
I get a sense that she is in crisis, in terms of reconciling her ideal life and her reality. She is also faced with career issues where her profession is not propelling her to the space she wants to be in. I have further observed that she is constantly tormented by the challenge of her best friends,who have settled into happy, stable and financially secure relationships.
As a man in her life I am faced with my own challenges. My career has only just begun to take a turn for the better after being in and out of contractual work. I am not in a position to offer her the life she wants...to take away her fears of uncertainty about her financial future. I wish it was not so but I can only offer what I have. I do not want to sell her a dream because I have to manage her expectations.
I fear based on my financial challenges, I will not be able to keep her. She like others before her will leave me because of what I bring to the table...nothing that supports modern day challenges. It is a sad reality but I must accept my limitations. I will not fight to keep her; I will let her do what she must for her own growth. I on the other hand continue to be frustrated in my quest for a life partner. It is getting to the point where I want to give up and live my life alone....
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